Mama Nkechi Don Vex Scatter: Breeze Don Blow Fowl Yansh, Na Husband Real Pikin, No Be Im Niece

Na Mama Nkechi first raise alarm that early mor-mor as she burst commot from her face-me-I-face-you flat like person wey see masquerade for kitchen. “Wetin I do this man wey make am lie give me for 3 years?” she shout as she balance for compound with only net skirt and anger. “You bring small girl come say she be your niece, I use my hand train am like say I be Mother Teresa, meanwhile na your pikin you smuggle enter my soup!”

She no gree rest. “Every PTA meeting, na me dey go. Every malaria, na me buy Amatem. You sit down dey sip zobo while I dey raise your secret pikin!” Neighbours begin gather like say na vigil, but Mama Nkechi no send. “Make una record me well o! This marriage na cruise ship wey don sink!”

Tori Full Ground: “You Dey Ment or You Just Evil?” – Mama Nkechi

Mama Nkechi no stop for mouth o. She carry husband phone, check old messages, see plenty ‘daddy this, daddy that’ wey the girl don dey send. “I no blame the girl o, I blame the masquerade wey call himself my husband,” she yarn as she throw plastic chair for man wey try beg am. “You dey call am niece, meanwhile na pikin wey you born after choir practice!”

She face the girl wey dey cry. “My pikin no go dey share indomie with who dey call me ‘Aunty’ for house! You sabi how much gas cost?” Then she face husband again: “Oga, who be her mama? Abi you still get another secret family wey dey Canada?” Na so people begin hail Mama Nkechi, “Talk am! No gree! Scatter table!”

Compound Don Scatter: “If Dem Born You Well, Sleep for House Tonight”

As the heat increase, Mama Nkechi begin throw clothes from window. “You no go chop tonight. Even mosquito go reject you,” she shout as she pack husband belt, phone charger, and one odd shoe throway for drainage. “Make you go sleep with your ‘niece-daughter’ and see if her mama fit give you better egusi.”

She drag megaphone from neighbour pickin and begin announce, “Attention everybody! Na me, Mama Nkechi, wey them use do mumu. From today, I don retire from stepmother duty. I no go dey raise pikin wey I no born, and I no go dey cook for man wey lie pass DSTV subscription!”

As compound people begin clap and shout “Gbas gbos!,” Mama Nkechi enter house, lock door with big padlock, and paste sign: “Beware of Bitter Woman. No Entry.”