Man wey dem call Big T no fit hold body again when him babe never serve food sharp sharp. Man just return from road, open shirt, sit down like king, expect royal rice and stew delivery, but kitchen still dey boil.
Man begin shout say hunger don show him shege. Man say if e no chop in five minutes, e go scatter the whole compound. Man even ask if na restaurant e dey or relationship.
Man still dey roar when chest begin do gbim gbim like generator wey fuel finish. Before anybody fit say “Oga calm down,” man fall yakata. Neighbours gather, Sandra dey scream, but man don already begin travel go meet ancestors.
Man Kick Bucket Over Food Wahala: Man Wey Dey Love Wahala Pass Jollof
Man wey friends sabi say him love food more than FIFA final, no dey joke with plate. Man and Sandra don dey do drama since—last time, na because she serve beans without plantain. Man vex so tey he sleep for parlour.
Man no dey use soft mouth; him wahala fit make NEPA bring light. Man always believe say woman wey no sabi serve food on time, no fit make heaven. Neighbours say man dey act like say chop be human right.
Man don turn argument to lifestyle. Every small kitchen matter dey blow like say na political debate. But this time, man miscalculate — wahala don pass level, BP don press reset.
Man Kick Bucket Over Food Wahala: Man Wey No See Food, See Trouble Instead
Man enter hospital like champion, but come out like obituary flyer. Doctor yarn say man don carry silent BP since, and this last shouting bout just press the final button.
Man dey hospital bed when doctor talk say “e don go.” Sandra faint, nurse pour water, but man no gree wake. Matter don change from hunger to heartbreak for everybody wey hear the gist.
Man don now become national lesson: no use vex take do dinner. If food delay, find biscuit, call peace meeting — because as man don show us, wahala no dey pick time. Rest in peace, Big T.
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